Published in today's HR daily...
As an increasing number of baby boomers find themselves caring not only for children and parents but grandchildren as well, the NSW Equal Employment Practitioners Association (NEEOPA) is urging employers to reassess how they manage and support their caregivers.
Australian Bureau of Statistics data shows that 41 per cent of employees are also caregivers, and NEEOPA says that with an ageing population, this number is set to rise.
Given that mature workers represent a third of the total workforce, employers need to understand and connect with this generation and support them to be able to work longer, says Alison Monroe, director of SageCo and a member of NEEOPA.
Fellow NEEOPA member Karen Miles says that there needs to be a cultural and social shift, not only in how working parents are perceived, but working grandparents as well.
"We think grandparents are old and grey and sitting on their porches in their rocking chairs and that's not what grandparents look like any more," she says.
"We've been talking for a while now about the fact that we've got an ageing population, but I think that's really only just showing up in organisations as becoming an issue.
"We're still hammering down the wall in terms of flexibility and culture change for working parents; I think this is another level organisations haven't even really got their heads around yet," she says.
"Grandma and grandpa are still working and yet they're being called upon (or want to put their hands up) for different caring duties for their grandchildren, but also for their elderly parents who are still alive."
Case study: a classic "triple-decker sandwich" baby boomer
The coining of the phrase "triple-decker sandwich generation" reflects the new responsibilities that baby boomers face as they become grandparents.
Miles, an author, consultant and motherhood expert, says that her father-in-law is a classic example of someone of the "triple-decker sandwich" generation. He is currently in his late 50s, his wife works full-time in a high-level corporate job and he works part-time running his own business. He looks after his grandchildren two days a week and cares for his elderly parents, who are in their eighties.
"He also provides a lot of care and support for my husband and I in terms of cooking dinners and all kinds of different things, so he's a classic example of someone who's looking after three generations of people," says Miles.
Prior to starting his own business, Miles' father-in-law worked full-time with a technology company. After many years of service, he began to feel that he had "been there, done that" and grew "bored", she says.
"He achieved a lot of great things in his career and was up for the next challenge," she says, so he "put his hand up" to help with the children. What Miles finds most interesting is his motivation. He says that he did not simply volunteer to help her and her husband, but did so because he thought he could "make a difference".
Re-think the traditional work day
Asked how a company employing such a person might hold onto them, Miles says: "I think the idea of a traditional work day really needs to shift."
The key, she says, is flexibility that allows the employee to either work from home or work part-time. It gives them the option of looking after grandchildren a couple of days a week or doing afternoon pick-ups, she says.
If both parents and grandparents can have flexible work arrangements, care can be shared more easily in what Miles calls a "tag-team effort". Also important is "genuine understanding from the employer".
In terms of keeping older workers engaged, "There needs to be an opportunity to mentor the next generation coming through and to pass on skills," says Miles. "Not just as a legacy, but for continuity of the work."
In the case of her father-in-law, who had been employed with the same company for more than 15 years, "he'd seen the growth of the company, the growth of the products and the client work that they did. To be able to nurture that in somebody else would be really valuable but instead it was lost".
Just as a desire to make a difference caused her father-in-law to leave work in favour of caring for grandchildren, the opportunity to make a difference in the workplace could help people at a similar crossroads to stay engaged.
Employers need to give mature employees the opportunity to nurture the new talent that's coming into the organisation, and to feel their contribution is unique and worthwhile, says Miles. The option of "phasing" into retirement, passing on skills and experience in the process is also valuable, she says.
Act sooner rather than later
In Miles' opinion, these initiatives are overdue, but she acknowledges that from an employer's perspective, the need might not seem imminent - yet. However, all employers can benefit from acting sooner rather than later, she says, summing up the incentive in two words: fantastic PR.
"St George implemented their grandparental leave and won awards and received massive amounts of PR for that initiative," she says by way of example.
"Only a handful of grandparents put their hand up to take grandparental leave but it was the fact that it was an opportunity that was offered and it was just so new in the marketplace that they got such acclaim for it.
"So in terms of being an employer of choice, and getting recognised for that and getting the PR for that, that's gold."
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
PND: Not a Failure
With 1 in 5 Australian women experiencing post natal depression, it's time to lose the stigma and judgement...
"MOST people think depression is a 'normal' part of pregnancy and women do not need treatment, according to a survey by the mental health group beyondblue.
The nationwide survey of 733 men and women also found that 57 per cent of people believed women get postnatal depression because they have unrealistic expectations of motherhood. One-quarter thought postnatal depression did not need treatment and would go away on its own.
Beyondblue's deputy chief executive officer, Nicole Highet, said the results were concerning. "If people think that depression is a normal consequence of pregnancy, they're less likely to seek help. This has important implications for the detection and treatment of depression, given that one in 10 women will experience this illness while pregnant.''
Dr Highet, a psychologist, said there was confusion between postnatal depression and the baby blues, where women felt teary and emotional for up to 10 days after giving birth.
The baby blues, which affected up to 80 per cent of women, were triggered by hormonal changes and disappeared quite quickly. But postnatal depression did not disappear on its own and needed treatment, she said. If women did not realise they had the condition, they could miss out on the benefits of early intervention.
''The faster you detect it and treat it, the faster the woman recovers. It's also easier to treat mild or moderate depression than when it becomes severe.''
Mild and moderate cases responded to psychological treatment but severe cases often required drugs, which was an issue if the woman was pregnant or breastfeeding.
The survey results, released to coincide with a postnatal depression awareness week which began yesterday, did offer some encouragement to beyondblue, which advocates screening all pregnant women and new mothers. More than three-quarters of people agreed that women should be checked for depression both during pregnancy and after birth and 90 per cent agreed that it was a serious condition.
The vast majority (92 per cent) believed women with postnatal depression could be good mothers, but this declined among people aged over 55.
''They tend to be more judgmental,'' Dr Highet said. ''This might exacerbate the problem for women if their mothers or mothers-in-law felt they were not coping.''
One symptom of postnatal depression was low self-esteem, which could be made worse by an older relative's criticism of a new mother.
Beyondblue has been working on national guidelines for postnatal depression. The survey results will be used in an awareness campaign for women and their partners and health workers.
Federal and state governments have committed $85 million to assess pregnant women and new mothers for depression and anxiety and to provide better care and support over the next five years."
Source: SMH 16/11/09
"MOST people think depression is a 'normal' part of pregnancy and women do not need treatment, according to a survey by the mental health group beyondblue.
The nationwide survey of 733 men and women also found that 57 per cent of people believed women get postnatal depression because they have unrealistic expectations of motherhood. One-quarter thought postnatal depression did not need treatment and would go away on its own.
Beyondblue's deputy chief executive officer, Nicole Highet, said the results were concerning. "If people think that depression is a normal consequence of pregnancy, they're less likely to seek help. This has important implications for the detection and treatment of depression, given that one in 10 women will experience this illness while pregnant.''
Dr Highet, a psychologist, said there was confusion between postnatal depression and the baby blues, where women felt teary and emotional for up to 10 days after giving birth.
The baby blues, which affected up to 80 per cent of women, were triggered by hormonal changes and disappeared quite quickly. But postnatal depression did not disappear on its own and needed treatment, she said. If women did not realise they had the condition, they could miss out on the benefits of early intervention.
''The faster you detect it and treat it, the faster the woman recovers. It's also easier to treat mild or moderate depression than when it becomes severe.''
Mild and moderate cases responded to psychological treatment but severe cases often required drugs, which was an issue if the woman was pregnant or breastfeeding.
The survey results, released to coincide with a postnatal depression awareness week which began yesterday, did offer some encouragement to beyondblue, which advocates screening all pregnant women and new mothers. More than three-quarters of people agreed that women should be checked for depression both during pregnancy and after birth and 90 per cent agreed that it was a serious condition.
The vast majority (92 per cent) believed women with postnatal depression could be good mothers, but this declined among people aged over 55.
''They tend to be more judgmental,'' Dr Highet said. ''This might exacerbate the problem for women if their mothers or mothers-in-law felt they were not coping.''
One symptom of postnatal depression was low self-esteem, which could be made worse by an older relative's criticism of a new mother.
Beyondblue has been working on national guidelines for postnatal depression. The survey results will be used in an awareness campaign for women and their partners and health workers.
Federal and state governments have committed $85 million to assess pregnant women and new mothers for depression and anxiety and to provide better care and support over the next five years."
Source: SMH 16/11/09
Friday, November 13, 2009
Shouting the new spanking
A brilliant article from today's SMH...
"Is this the most guilt-ridden generation of parents that ever existed?
At least that's the impression you might get from a recent New York Times piece by Hilary Stout: For Some Parents, Shouting is the New Spanking.
It was filled with hang-wringing by angst-ridden parents who have yelled at their children.
"'I've worked with thousands of parents and I can tell you, without question, that screaming is the new spanking' ... 'this is so the issue right now,' " Amy McCready, the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, told Stout.
A blogger on motherblogger.net wrote that revealing online that she "loses it" in front of her kids was like revealing a "dark family secret."
A poll on what causes parenting guilt was commissioned by authors of the upcoming book, Mummy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids.
Stout reports: "Two-thirds of respondents named yelling - not working or spanking or missing a school event - as their biggest guilt inducer."
OK, timeout. Those of us who argue that spanking can be a legitimate form of discipline for younger kids are thinking, of course today's parents yell more. When a parent doesn't feel he has the option to stop bad behaviour early with a controlled spanking, the parent is more likely to, well, lose control. Which can mean out-of-control yelling and/or all sorts of other responses.
What about when a parent yells, as I fully admit I sometimes do?
Well, I just don't have a lot of guilt about it. Actually, when it comes to being a parent, I have relatively little guilt, period. I'm doing the best I can here, after all. I suppose if I were sending my children off to work 12 hours a day in a factory, I would wince. But my kids have a pretty good life. I'm guessing that's the case for most of the coddled kids of the guilt-ridden yelling parents.
And my children know I am crazy about them, and devoted to them.
They also know I'm real.
And sometimes yelling really gets their attention. Those are typically the moments when I'm less worried about their tender psyches and more worried about mine.
Sometimes my kids drive me completely crazy, and I don't think letting them know that once in a while is so terrible. What is this constant angst about our children "feeling bad," anyway?
There are times when I think my kids shouldn't feel bad about themselves. They should feel downright awful! It's called developing a conscience.
I'm the first one to genuinely apologise to my kids when I've wronged them, including yelling at them when I shouldn't. Other times I think the yelling is spot on. Either way, all four seem pretty happy and secure in general, so I guess they are psychologically intact.
I know that I'm not always going to get it right as a mum. In fact, there times when I downright blow it. But as long as I'm loving my kids and doing the best I can in the moment, I'm just not going to feel guilty about that."
Source, SMH, Betsy Hart hosts the It Takes a Parent radio show in Chicago. SHNS November 13, 2009
"Is this the most guilt-ridden generation of parents that ever existed?
At least that's the impression you might get from a recent New York Times piece by Hilary Stout: For Some Parents, Shouting is the New Spanking.
It was filled with hang-wringing by angst-ridden parents who have yelled at their children.
"'I've worked with thousands of parents and I can tell you, without question, that screaming is the new spanking' ... 'this is so the issue right now,' " Amy McCready, the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, told Stout.
A blogger on motherblogger.net wrote that revealing online that she "loses it" in front of her kids was like revealing a "dark family secret."
A poll on what causes parenting guilt was commissioned by authors of the upcoming book, Mummy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids.
Stout reports: "Two-thirds of respondents named yelling - not working or spanking or missing a school event - as their biggest guilt inducer."
OK, timeout. Those of us who argue that spanking can be a legitimate form of discipline for younger kids are thinking, of course today's parents yell more. When a parent doesn't feel he has the option to stop bad behaviour early with a controlled spanking, the parent is more likely to, well, lose control. Which can mean out-of-control yelling and/or all sorts of other responses.
What about when a parent yells, as I fully admit I sometimes do?
Well, I just don't have a lot of guilt about it. Actually, when it comes to being a parent, I have relatively little guilt, period. I'm doing the best I can here, after all. I suppose if I were sending my children off to work 12 hours a day in a factory, I would wince. But my kids have a pretty good life. I'm guessing that's the case for most of the coddled kids of the guilt-ridden yelling parents.
And my children know I am crazy about them, and devoted to them.
They also know I'm real.
And sometimes yelling really gets their attention. Those are typically the moments when I'm less worried about their tender psyches and more worried about mine.
Sometimes my kids drive me completely crazy, and I don't think letting them know that once in a while is so terrible. What is this constant angst about our children "feeling bad," anyway?
There are times when I think my kids shouldn't feel bad about themselves. They should feel downright awful! It's called developing a conscience.
I'm the first one to genuinely apologise to my kids when I've wronged them, including yelling at them when I shouldn't. Other times I think the yelling is spot on. Either way, all four seem pretty happy and secure in general, so I guess they are psychologically intact.
I know that I'm not always going to get it right as a mum. In fact, there times when I downright blow it. But as long as I'm loving my kids and doing the best I can in the moment, I'm just not going to feel guilty about that."
Source, SMH, Betsy Hart hosts the It Takes a Parent radio show in Chicago. SHNS November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Oh Baby Boom!
AUSTRALIA is in the grip of its biggest baby boom - a record 293,600 babies were born last year, 11,400 more than the year before. Roughly one third - 94,700 - were born in NSW, where births are rising faster than in any state other than Western Australia, increasing 5.8 per cent between 2007 and 2008, compared to the national increase of 4 per cent. Births in Western Australia jumped an extraordinary 9.2 per cent.
"It has taken people by surprise," said an Australian National University demographer, Peter McDonald. "It's putting strain on schools, childcare centres and maternity wards at the same time as our population is ageing."
Women aged 30 to 34 led the way, producing 128 babies per 1000 - more than any other age group, and the highest rate since 1961. Women aged 35 to 39 produced more babies per 1000 than at any time since 1948.
Last night a federal Labor backbencher, Kelvin Thompson, launched a 14-point plan to contain what he called Australia's ''runaway population''.
Among the measures was reducing the annual immigration program from more than 200,000 to 70,000, abolishing the baby bonus, and restricting family benefits for third and subsequent children.
Source: SMH, Oh Baby, November 12, 2009
"It has taken people by surprise," said an Australian National University demographer, Peter McDonald. "It's putting strain on schools, childcare centres and maternity wards at the same time as our population is ageing."
Women aged 30 to 34 led the way, producing 128 babies per 1000 - more than any other age group, and the highest rate since 1961. Women aged 35 to 39 produced more babies per 1000 than at any time since 1948.
Last night a federal Labor backbencher, Kelvin Thompson, launched a 14-point plan to contain what he called Australia's ''runaway population''.
Among the measures was reducing the annual immigration program from more than 200,000 to 70,000, abolishing the baby bonus, and restricting family benefits for third and subsequent children.
Source: SMH, Oh Baby, November 12, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
UPCOMING EVENTS ...
WORKING MOTHERS LONG TABLE
An informal, facilitated lunch event with Karen Miles on the topic of how motherhood is affecting you - your identity, career, and relationships; in a personal, small group setting. DATE: 18 November 2009 This is the final 2009 lunch, please register today through Network Central - click here.
ACHIEVE RESULTS IN 2010
A professional development day aimed at achieving business outcomes from a fresh, relevant, diverse group of Australia’s leading speakers and educators. Karen Miles will interview marketing maverick Justin Herald on stage Parky-interview style. DATE: 25th November 2009 View the brochure or book here.
An informal, facilitated lunch event with Karen Miles on the topic of how motherhood is affecting you - your identity, career, and relationships; in a personal, small group setting. DATE: 18 November 2009 This is the final 2009 lunch, please register today through Network Central - click here.
ACHIEVE RESULTS IN 2010
A professional development day aimed at achieving business outcomes from a fresh, relevant, diverse group of Australia’s leading speakers and educators. Karen Miles will interview marketing maverick Justin Herald on stage Parky-interview style. DATE: 25th November 2009 View the brochure or book here.
Harmful Child Behaviour?
What to do when your kid hits another, or someone's not sharing toys? Don't judge the behaviour, interrupt it.
From the Law of Attraction Parenting ... "Sure if one child is being hurt then you need to intervene quickly, but do it from a loving place - "Whoa! I can see you are getting really angry, let's see if we can work this out better." Both children in a conflict are contributing to the dynamic. So helping each child to get what they want, with respect for the other, is far more productive. It may mean they do play separately for a while - but not as a punishment for not playing nicely.
I also challenge parents to be aware of what drives you in your wanting your child to behave differently. Are you worrying about what other people think? Are you running on automatic based on old beliefs, such as how your parent's raised you? Whose needs are more valid - yours or your child's? On the whole we tend to think if we have fed and clothed our children then after that our needs are more important.
Children need to be loved for who they are, not how they behave. Their natural instinct is to connect, play, smile, and enjoy themselves. Think of a tiny baby, they just respond to the interaction around them. It is our behaviour that teaches them it is not OK to be angry or that we disapprove of their actions."
Source: http://www.law-of-attraction-parenting.com/disciplining-children.html
From the Law of Attraction Parenting ... "Sure if one child is being hurt then you need to intervene quickly, but do it from a loving place - "Whoa! I can see you are getting really angry, let's see if we can work this out better." Both children in a conflict are contributing to the dynamic. So helping each child to get what they want, with respect for the other, is far more productive. It may mean they do play separately for a while - but not as a punishment for not playing nicely.
I also challenge parents to be aware of what drives you in your wanting your child to behave differently. Are you worrying about what other people think? Are you running on automatic based on old beliefs, such as how your parent's raised you? Whose needs are more valid - yours or your child's? On the whole we tend to think if we have fed and clothed our children then after that our needs are more important.
Children need to be loved for who they are, not how they behave. Their natural instinct is to connect, play, smile, and enjoy themselves. Think of a tiny baby, they just respond to the interaction around them. It is our behaviour that teaches them it is not OK to be angry or that we disapprove of their actions."
Source: http://www.law-of-attraction-parenting.com/disciplining-children.html
Friday, October 30, 2009
Playgroup bad for mums
An Aussie survey has just been released commenting on what I have been speaking about for some time - the one-up-womanship and "performance parenting" that goes on when mothers get together.
My son loved one particular playgroup we visited for the first years of his life, he would play so 'hard' it guaranteed he'd be fast asleep post-playgroup. It was some of the other parents however, that exhausted me.
Here, the survey says...
...Mums, beware the playgroup. An Australian study has found they can make mothers feel even more guilty than usual by allowing mothers to compare themselves, and their children, to others and find faults.
The study, by psychology and social sciences professor Bronwyn Harman of Edith Cowan University in Perth, showed that playgroups - informal gatherings of mothers and their children - reinforced the "good mother syndrome" which is how society expects an ideal mother to be.
"The good mother syndrome is an impossible achievement, because, as all mothers know, there is huge debate about everything related to motherhood and no matter what you do, it's wrong," Harman told Reuters.
"I don't want playgroups to sound negative, because they are very helpful for support and socializing. But playgroups do strengthen the good mother syndrome."
Harman's study was based on qualitative, in-depth interviews over several months with 21 women and nine playgroups in Perth. The women's children were aged up to five years old.
Harman said the majority of mothers said what they valued the most was the social interaction for themselves and their children, followed by receiving advice and observing other parenting techniques.
"But there are mothers who go to playgroups to exercise expertise as parents in a smug way, and that's the competitive element that most reinforces the good mother syndrome," Harman explained. "There is some boasting and criticism, and also the general comparing mothers do."
"Mothers should be kinder to each other and give each other a break," she added.
"Society needs to be much less judgmental, because in 99 per cent of the time, mums are doing the best they can, but no matter what you do, you're wrong."
Media Source: Reuters
My son loved one particular playgroup we visited for the first years of his life, he would play so 'hard' it guaranteed he'd be fast asleep post-playgroup. It was some of the other parents however, that exhausted me.
Here, the survey says...
...Mums, beware the playgroup. An Australian study has found they can make mothers feel even more guilty than usual by allowing mothers to compare themselves, and their children, to others and find faults.
The study, by psychology and social sciences professor Bronwyn Harman of Edith Cowan University in Perth, showed that playgroups - informal gatherings of mothers and their children - reinforced the "good mother syndrome" which is how society expects an ideal mother to be.
"The good mother syndrome is an impossible achievement, because, as all mothers know, there is huge debate about everything related to motherhood and no matter what you do, it's wrong," Harman told Reuters.
"I don't want playgroups to sound negative, because they are very helpful for support and socializing. But playgroups do strengthen the good mother syndrome."
Harman's study was based on qualitative, in-depth interviews over several months with 21 women and nine playgroups in Perth. The women's children were aged up to five years old.
Harman said the majority of mothers said what they valued the most was the social interaction for themselves and their children, followed by receiving advice and observing other parenting techniques.
"But there are mothers who go to playgroups to exercise expertise as parents in a smug way, and that's the competitive element that most reinforces the good mother syndrome," Harman explained. "There is some boasting and criticism, and also the general comparing mothers do."
"Mothers should be kinder to each other and give each other a break," she added.
"Society needs to be much less judgmental, because in 99 per cent of the time, mums are doing the best they can, but no matter what you do, you're wrong."
Media Source: Reuters
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