Are you Pretending?

Being a parent is easy and intuitive, correct? Well, no — it's just customary to pretend that that's the case.

Last night I went to bed very confused. Why do parents name their children after affluenza-inspired objects? Why do they pretend at the playground that their child can do no wrong? Why do they buy houses in suburbs they can't afford?

It seems ingrained in humans to make out like their life is so much better than it really is and so much better than yours.

Perhaps it dates back to all our world wars for power, strength and riches. The bigger you feel, the stronger your chances of 'survival', the less likely your city comes under attack. Conquer and fake it to make it?

I'm no anthropologist, but if a 'Why do humans pretend' Google search generates 2 million hits, I think I'm on to something.

The word 'pretend' comes from the old French word 'pretendre' and literally means 'false friend'. I love that. Because really, that's the true experience isn't it. Yes, we look at parents who seem to have it all handled and wish we could be more like them. But just like the airbrushed supermodels we grew up on, their life isn't actually real, let alone attainable. For anyone. And there's a cost we all pay as a result - never feeling terribly 'normal' or quite 'good enough'.

It's fake, it's a false friend doing your head in. You're comparing yourself with a standard that doesn't exist. Motherhood brings on enough feelings of performance guilt without being held to a yard stick others are trying to build that bares little resemblance to what's really going on in their home.

Let's separate fact from fiction: No one has parenting handled. Every kid mucks up. We are all driven crazy by our children. No one is doing this parenting thing any better than anyone else.

Phew, that felt good. Mummy blogs may now crumble, but could we all get on with the real normal.

Want more? Read some interesting, readable quick research at www.newsweek.com/id/194576